weekend

I have just finally recovered from awful sickness. 3 days of being completely miserable was not awesome.

The weekend ahead looks promising though. 3 whole days with my wonderful fiance. Tonight we are just going to relax and go to bed early (thats just how we do haha). Then tomorrow I have a whole meal planned, pork tenderloin, red skinned mashed potatoes, and dutch apple pie. Then Sunday is wedding counseling scary!!

When it rains, it pours

I just want to curl up in bed and hide from the world today. Over the weekend I had decided that i would stay home and get my affairs in order. Of course I decided why am I here, I missed Jarrod so much that I just threw charlie and a bag in the car and drove to Blacksburg on Saturday. I am not doing so well at the long distance relationship stuff, I miss him so bad these days that it is affecting my work and affecting my personal life. When I can't be with him I just want to stay home and do nothing. Everything just seems pointless. Its just ridiculous why can't I get into work anymore? I also made the brilliant decision to go home on Monday morning since Jarrod was leaving early anyway. This of course did not work out. I got home at 830am and felt terrible. I called in sick to work and went to bed. Later that evening when walking by with Charlie I notice I left the lights on in my car. I hurry over to try and turn it on, nothing. I called Laura and she came by on her way back from Charlottesville and jumped it, crisis averted right? NOPE.

This morning I wake up, walk the dog, take a shower, get dressed and out the door. I hop in my car, it wont start again. I call AAA. An hour and 2 and a half episodes of the Office later the guy shows up, jumps my car, checks my battery and tells me its pretty much dead he can replace it for 117. My car just blew an oxegen sensor this month, the engine had to be cleaned and the sensor replaced, $600. My dog just had whipworm and stomach issues, 228. Now I have to replace a battery!!! I don't make enough money for this!

Then to add to my frustration, My lease is up on March 23rd. So what do I do? Do I sign another lease? For 6 months or 12? Do I quit and just move in with Jarrod? I can't tell you how much I just want to do the last option right now but the guilt would kill me. My bosses are wonderful and put alot of faith in me. But I am tired of being a secretary and when it comes down to it that is what I am. I wasn't hired to do this job and it is frustrating the hell out of me. I don't want to call clients to try and get them to come in. I just don't think this is for me I miss Jarrod. I just want to go back to school. Plus I feel like I am smarter then this job needs. Sigh how do I do this.

On top of it all we aren't going to have the church we wanted, they don't have our dates available and of course didn't tell us this until Jarrod called. So screw it we will have it in Jarrod's church it really isn't the end of the world but I did want my cathedral, I would have looked beautiful walking down that nice isle. yep Im annoyed and going to have a nervous breakdown.

Law School?

Lately I am not as satisfied with my job as I was before. Both of my bosses are very smart individuals but I feel like I am not challenged at all. I feel like my job is making me start to do things just good enough as opposed to as good as they could be. I dont want to be like that. Plus I dont think being a financial planner is for me. I dont want to be on call all the time for my clients, when my bosses go on vacation it almost seems the like the clients are upset about it. Like since they are a financial planner they need to be there 24/7 for their needs. I am not a people person, I like people, I like company, but I am incredibly awkward. I cannot sell anything.

I think I want to become an estate attorney. I would like to draft up wills and trusts and well just make more then i am now without this relying on commissions. I am very nervous about the idea of applying to law school though. I just dont think I am smart enough or had good enough grades. Stupid Freshman Year ruined my GPA. Washington and Lee is the school closest to where Jarrod and I will probably end up and well thats a tough school to get into. To bad I have no connections. Sigh What am I doing with my life! I really think I could do it though and Jarrod supports me. I guess the main thing that worries me is the loans. haha scary

Kelly Kapoor

So I had a coworker who I started to really get along with and she quit. Now we have our very own office Kelly(like in the Office). She just started yesterday and I could hear her the whole day saying "Okay deal" on the phone. Then while Holly and I are in our office working on stuff she comes looking for cleaning supplies and starts a whole conversation like shes known us all her life. She is so intensely outgoing in makes me almost anxious. I dont like it.

I supposed Ill get used to her but this morning Kelly comes in my office while Im "working" (i.e. checking my email). And looks at my picture to ask about Jarrod then goes into a talk about her wedding asking me questions about mine and honestly it is way to early. I just want quiet time when I come in early. Maybe if she did that at like 4pm it would be more welcomed but at 9 in the morning I want peace and quiet while my brain slowly comes out of its coma. the other coworker really needs to come back. Even Party Evan said they miss her.

I am so frustrated today that I think my head is going to explode. I need to call the place I want to have my wedding reception at because they wont respond to my emails but the only time they are open I am at work! I don't know if it is going to end up in a lengthy conversation so I don't want to call while I am at work. On top of that it is already noon and Boss 2 has not come in. I wish I had known I would be all alone for 4 hours because then I could have called the reception site. But no that would have been tooo easy. Why can't she just come to work. Ive been sick before and you know what I did, half days. I think I am just frustrated because the clients are frustrated and I am the one who has to deal with them.

Last night was terrible. One plus was I found two dresses I am going to pick between. Both lovely but completely different. I just couldn't make a decision. So we scheduled an appointment for Saturday and mom is going to come down and make the decision. Very exciting.

Charlie is terribly sick. He pooped in Beckys room! On her birthday! I felt terrible and cleaned it up for her. I scheduled a vet appointment for 330 today. Who needs food anyway. But how am I going to leave at 330 instead of 1 if Holly doesn't come in to approve. Needless to say I am stressed out. I need a backrub.

And worst of all after my wonderful time of looking at dresses, Laura and I went to tropical smoothie. While I was eating my sandwich and looking at dresses one more time a guy comes up to my window and pulls his thing out! Then he start messing with it! I was appalled. I immediately became nauseous and just wanted to go home. Jarrod says I should of called the cops but I wasn't thinking straight. I just followed the first man who left out of the store with Laura and we went home. Yuck.