When it rains, it pours

I just want to curl up in bed and hide from the world today. Over the weekend I had decided that i would stay home and get my affairs in order. Of course I decided why am I here, I missed Jarrod so much that I just threw charlie and a bag in the car and drove to Blacksburg on Saturday. I am not doing so well at the long distance relationship stuff, I miss him so bad these days that it is affecting my work and affecting my personal life. When I can't be with him I just want to stay home and do nothing. Everything just seems pointless. Its just ridiculous why can't I get into work anymore? I also made the brilliant decision to go home on Monday morning since Jarrod was leaving early anyway. This of course did not work out. I got home at 830am and felt terrible. I called in sick to work and went to bed. Later that evening when walking by with Charlie I notice I left the lights on in my car. I hurry over to try and turn it on, nothing. I called Laura and she came by on her way back from Charlottesville and jumped it, crisis averted right? NOPE.

This morning I wake up, walk the dog, take a shower, get dressed and out the door. I hop in my car, it wont start again. I call AAA. An hour and 2 and a half episodes of the Office later the guy shows up, jumps my car, checks my battery and tells me its pretty much dead he can replace it for 117. My car just blew an oxegen sensor this month, the engine had to be cleaned and the sensor replaced, $600. My dog just had whipworm and stomach issues, 228. Now I have to replace a battery!!! I don't make enough money for this!

Then to add to my frustration, My lease is up on March 23rd. So what do I do? Do I sign another lease? For 6 months or 12? Do I quit and just move in with Jarrod? I can't tell you how much I just want to do the last option right now but the guilt would kill me. My bosses are wonderful and put alot of faith in me. But I am tired of being a secretary and when it comes down to it that is what I am. I wasn't hired to do this job and it is frustrating the hell out of me. I don't want to call clients to try and get them to come in. I just don't think this is for me I miss Jarrod. I just want to go back to school. Plus I feel like I am smarter then this job needs. Sigh how do I do this.

On top of it all we aren't going to have the church we wanted, they don't have our dates available and of course didn't tell us this until Jarrod called. So screw it we will have it in Jarrod's church it really isn't the end of the world but I did want my cathedral, I would have looked beautiful walking down that nice isle. yep Im annoyed and going to have a nervous breakdown.