My Life Upside Down: The Beginning

So now I have a baby, my son George. Life is all about him. I wake up when his first feeding is and I go to bed when he has fallen asleep for the night. The middle of my day is spent sitting around with him in my lap with his pacy because that is what keeps him happy.

For me the birth was easy. A scheduled C-section. I was starting to have contractions but I was not feeling them. They injected pain medicine into my spine and pulled a curtain infront of my shoulders so that while I was laying down I could not see them cutting me open to get the baby out. The whole operation was a blurr. My husband sat next to me holding my hand. They asked if he wanted to see the baby and then a nurse yelled that wouldn't be a good idea the baby wasn't breathing. Jarrod started to feel dizzy at that point and had to be escorted out for some water. They finally got George to breath but he was striderous (which meant when he breathed he squeaked) this was due to a floppy airway. My son could not breath on his own. They asked if I wanted to see him. I gave him a kiss in my loopy confused state and he was taken away.

When I came back to feeling I was in a sterile room with my husband and my nurse. My legs were straight but because I did not get them in that position when I lost feeling they felt bent and uncomfortable. I kept yelling at poor Jarrod to fix my legs make them straight. Eventually I was carted down a floor to my room. They rolled me onto a bed.

I didn't feel pain right away. I was uncomforatable and nauseous but I didn't feel the slice in my lower abdomen. I spent a lot of time watching HGTV and sleeping. I could see the other mom's waddling though the halls holding or carting their child and I was so jealous. There was no baby in my room. Jarrod went up to the NICU to see the baby but I was not even well enough to go see him. Then to make matters worse, our dog Heidi had run away and was found by a neighbor. Jarrod had to leave me and go home. It felt empty and awful alone in my room.