Old friend

Sometimes it just plain sucks getting older. Like realizing that you and your best friend no longer have anything in common. When I first starting hanging out with the princess I was timid and quiet. If something bothered me I wouldn't bring it up. Then junior year we would have random fights but nothing would come from them. The next day we would pretend as if nothing had happened, nothing would change, and I would still be upset about some way she treated me or other people. Our serious divide happened on my 21st birthday. It was supposed to be the one day out of the year that was supposed to be about me. And yet that didn't work for her and then at the end of the night she insulted my other close friend so I left.

From that point on it hasn't been the same. I used to call her whenever I had a free moment and I felt like she called me too. Now I don't want to call her. The thing about her is I always knew under her selfish exterior she still cared about me on some level. I didn't feel that anymore. All she cared about was parties and bars and she was always dragging me into situations where I didn't feel comfortable. I was constantly brought face to face with old hookups and I just didn't need that anymore. It got to a point where we didn't talk for 4 months straight. And that was okay. I finally was free, I was moving on with my life and not thinking about her.

Then her two best college friends died. Her mom called and I remembered first thinking it was Tonia and I was horrified because I never fixed the void that had come between us. And it made me think alot. I was there for her I called her a ton and for a while she called me. But the time between calls grew longer and longer. Until she was never returning my calls so I was done. Since when is a friendship a one sided effort.

Now I feel lost. I don't really have anyone else that calls me. And the worst part is when she finally does contact me or call me theres always some excuse some lie she comes up with when I don't need that. I took her off facebook so I couldn't see that she was telling people she would call them tonight (it was really bothering me for some reason). Then she called me everyday until I added her again. I feel like she treating me like one her x-bf's who calls all the time and she always got some bs to tell them. Im not going to be dragged around so Im not picking up when a month later she realizes Im not trying anyone. Its just ridiculous. Now today she calls me a week and a half after I called her for her bday saying she had poor reception. Whatever. I told her not to call me at work and now she just making it so I get a message and have to call her back. Screw that. I am not calling. I have plently of other friends. haha Im not a tool.

I guess we just aren't meant to be friends forever like we thought. Its really depressing especially with all the marraige stuff looming in the future. Guess Ill have to find a new bridesmaid haha.